Friday, 7 January 2011

Lacking motivation

Has anyone seen my motivation? Because I want it back.

The day didn't start out so well. We drove my parents to the airport at 5 in the morning. Our goodbyes are always sad. Then I went home intending to spend the hour I had before work doing some strength exercises - abs, back, that kind of thing. I ended up doing nothing. In addition to this, my foot hurt enough to make my vague plan to run home from work evaporate. That put me in a funk.

This injury is making me schizophrenic. It has been causing my attitude towards running to fluctuate between apathy and a strong sense of longing. When it's the first, I suffer, because I don't recognise myself. I am a runner. Apathy isn't like me. When it's the latter, I'm hopeful about the future and see my injury as something temporary. I feel then that I only need to be patient and do other activities until I'm better. I dream about long runs on summer days.

Unfortunately I am currently in a state of apathy. Maybe it's self preservation, because I know that if I go running with my foot feeling like this, it will only get worse. I know I'll only get disappointed. But somehow I have to get my motivation back, if not for running, then for other sports. I have to get out of this funk.

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