I am still in a haze from sleeping for over 10 hours. I'm staying at home from work today, trying to get over the latest obstacle on my way back to running. Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be moving further away the more I try to move towards it. I am tired. And the more I rest, the more tired I get. It must be all this swimming upstream that's tiring me out.
It's one of those days when motivation to achieve anything more ambitious than keeping myself alive is non-existent. This apathy is so disheartening. Gone are the days I'd embark on long walks with my Nikon, eager to capture some nice shots. Cocooning is the only thing that has any appeal.
But that's not me. I don't recognise myself in it. The cognitive dissonance is too great.
I've developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. When my body is knocked out, my mind has to step in and help. One coping mechanism is to scout future running routes in Skellefteå. Google street view has been a tool of remarkable value in my cause to explore my future stomping grounds. I click my way around the gravel roads surrounding the city and on cycle paths that cut through it. Through forests and villages, by the sea and by the river, I plan runs that will take me all day. That's how I trick my restless body into believing that it's got its dose of adventure for the day: by means of virtual travelling.
It works. For a while.
PS. To the anonymous donor to my cancer research drive - thank you!!