Cabin fever

So you know how I thought I was getting better? Ha! Fooled you! My temperature went up again, I think I have a sinus infection, and typing this is about all I can do physically right now without collapsing in a heap. No, it's not even running that I'm missing right now. It's the simple things that I took for granted: doing the dishes. Vacuum cleaning. Cooking. Breathing through my nose.

I watched a documentary about Badwater 135, a very tough ultra that is so hot that people train for it in saunas (true story). And I was like, you wanna know hot? Try being in my HEAD. Then I took a painkiller to drive the fever down. I kinda feel like a jukebox. Pop in a coin and I'll sing, but then when the coin's value is up, I'll be just as dead as I was before. Painkillers only give temporary relief.

I haven't been this ill since...well, if I've ever been this ill in my life, I sure don't remember it. It's not the intensity that's unique, because my fever is not that high, but rather how long it takes for me to get better. Will I ever get better? It's not looking very promising right now. I'm just as ill now as I was a week ago. I keep getting this vision of myself stepping out of the flat, finally healthy, and finding out that everyone else on the planet has aged 20 years, Rip Van Winkle-style.

I'm hoping that my doctor will have time to see me tomorrow. If I'm lucky, he'll give me some medication to help me get better. If not, I'll get to hear the famous Swedish-doctor words once again: "Take a painkiller and rest".