Determination won over laziness this morning and I finally dragged myself down to the gym. There are many reasons to want to avoid it (for example, if the alternative is a warm bed) but there are also many, MANY reasons to go there (for example, if the alternative is getting my head shoved down a public toilet or getting my teeth pulled by sadistic monkeys with a wrench. What? It could happen). No, but seriously. A good reason is to build a strong body that can withstand the wear and tear of running.
I had been given some new leg exercises that involved free weights by the gym instructor, and I was curious to try them. I might have been a tad ambitious when I did lunges with a 5 kg-dumbbell in each hand but I felt strong. Beforehand. Because afterwards I could hardly walk. Never mind how I'm going to be able to run 10 km tonight. Truth be told, free weights are so much more fun than machines. I might just be able to drag myself to the gym once a week after all.
Or...might I? As I did a set on the abs machine, a gentleman sat on the rowing machine opposite me with his back turned and then I saw it. Half his arse was hanging out. No, not just a little bit at the top – HALF HIS ARSE. I averted my eyes in horror but my morbid fascination got the best of me. Surely he must have noticed he was mooning the entire gym and pulled up his pants? I had to look. Nope. Arse still there. The image was now forever burned in my retina and was going to haunt me in my dreams.
Now I know what you're all thinking. What am I, some sort of fashion police to dictate to people how to wear their clothes? What, am I like the Trinny and Susannah of the gym world? No. No, I am not. I hate that programme and everything it represents. But the plumber look? Doesn't look good on anyone. No one, period. Please put away that thing, mister. I don't want a butt imprint (or worse) on the rowing machine seat! It's...it's not hygienic, dammit!
I'm sorry I had to share this dreadful image with you. Let me cleanse your palate. Look, puppies!
|Photo by Elvissa|
Ahem. Sorry. Let's try again.
|Photo by jay-em-tee|
|Photo by 23am|
|Photo by angelapatel|
Gyms are clearly not for the germaphobes among us. I'm going to buy my own gym with the lottery money I'm sure to win any day now.