Careful what you wish for

Okay, maybe I didn't explicitly wish to get sick, but last week, in the throes of mental exhaustion, the thought might have crossed my mind that I was long overdue for the flu or something. Something that meant that I could let go of all the ”musts” in my life for a day or three and just watch reruns of Gilmore Girls in my pyjamas. I had a couple of minor infections at the end of last year, but they weren't bad enough to keep me home from work.

Yesterday, I dragged myself to work and regretted it almost immediately. I tried to brave it out but had to admit defeat and go home after lunch, with achy cheekbones. It looked like I had gotten what I'd wished for. I had a fever.

What followed were endless hours of boredom. Free time rocks – if you have a healthy body with which to enjoy it. Having to lie on the sofa because as soon as you get up you feel like you're going to pass out is not as much fun. And what is there to do on the sofa? Daytime TV is about as entertaining for me as a visit to the dentist. Reading a book is hard when your eyes are only half-open. That didn't leave me with a lot of other things to do.

Except think.

I thought about the evening's training session that I would miss, the final ”Round the bridges” test run. Then I thought about all the runs I will get to go for, all the races I want to do. I thought about the summer adventures we're planning and the Wednesday trail runs that are so hard but so, SO much fun. I missed my club mates, the friendly jabs and competitive spirit, the help and encouragement when it's tough. 

Yeah, yeah, carpe diem, I know. But it's hard to seize the day when your arms are too weak from fever to seize a second, let alone a whole day.

But it's ok. Sometimes, the body needs to rest and regain its strength, so it can come back even faster. And staying at home with nothing to do except dream about the future is maybe just what the mind needs to recuperate.