I wrote in my previous post that I am an introvert. Whereas it's something that I've pretty much always known, I've only just realised its implications a couple of months ago, while talking to J about it one day. I mean, it's not generally something that people discuss, nor do wall flowers take up so much space in society that they warrant so much attention (it would be kind of an oxymoron). I didn't really understand what being an introvert did to a person before that realisation. Understanding it now was a revelation, especially when it came to my work life.
We introverts are not hermits, but we do prefer our social interactions in small doses. Not too often and not with too many people at the same time. Extroverts thrive on socialising. But if by some twist of fate or misguided choice we end up socialising too much, we end up tired. Very tired. And wanting to hide for a while.
|I bet they can't find me here!|
This happened to me today. I worked in an environment with too many people, and too many social interactions, which was so intense for little ol' introvert me, that I came home with a headache and so completely drained of energy that I just wanted to have a lie down for a little while, maybe for a couple of years or so. Such intense days are energy thieves and leave me exhausted. They push me to assume a role that is unnatural to me; keeping up the charade empties all my energy depots. Just think about how tiresome it would be for you to write with your left hand (if you're right-handed) or your right hand (if you're left-handed). Do it for a whole work day and at the end of it I swear you wouldn't be able to even lift a finger. That's how my head feels after pretending to be an extrovert for a day. Now imagine you have the wrong kind of job, the kind that forces you to write with your ”wrong” hand, day after day, month after month, year after year...well, you get the picture.
I can't help comparing this energy deficit-producing situation to going for a run, something that most people would consider tiresome. I remember how full of energy I felt after my run yesterday, despite the fact that I was aching in my whole body before it. How it put a smile on my face and how it made me feel ready for whatever the rest of the day threw at me. I ran alone. Coincidence?