Sunday, 18 May 2014

Just a VFF rebel

Have you heard all the latest reports how Vibram got sued because they claimed in their ads that their Five Finger shoes can improve your running style and prevent injuries? Yeah, turns out you can still get injured, even with VFF on your feet. Some people on the Internet have gone so far as to say that, UNLIKE all other shoe brands, VFF can actually cause injuries!

They can also cause diarrhea, acne, hurricanes, grasshopper plagues and alien abductions. Moreover, there are strong suspicions that they are responsible for the disappearance of socks in the wash. A friend of a friend of a friend's ten year old son said Five Fingers ate his homework. True story.

Being the rebel that I am, instead of immediately throwing my Five Fingers in the bin upon hearing these reports, I put them on my feet and went for a short run in the woods. I stomped on stones and roots and probably turned the soles of my feet blue with bruises, while I flew down the overgrown single track, spiderwebs brushing against my face .


Well. I don't think 7 min/km pace constitutes flying but it's much cooler for my readers to imagine me flying down a path effortlessly than to imagine me dancing around with bloody feet screaming ”ouch, ouch” every three seconds. Besides, my feet weren't bloody at all. They just got a nice, relaxing pebble massage.

I stopped by the outdoor gym for some hardcore training. I collapsed in a heap instead.

I took the Five Fingers off for a bit as well. I let my feet feel the cool earth, the soft pine needles, the enveloping mud. I was cautious. I only let them play for half a kilometre before I put my VFF back on. That was all the pebble massage they could manage. But I did wonder why I ever stopped using VFF. 

The frog invasion of Vitberget was caused by VFF

Oh yeah. It was because I heard that they can make you bald and that they caused the Norwegian butter crisis of 2011.

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